Burned out and still showing up every day

What is burnout, exactly?

The World Health Organization describes burnout as the result of chronic workplace stress that has not been well managed. It names three parts: feeling drained or exhausted, feeling distant or cynical about your job, and getting less done or feeling less effective at it.

The WHO is clear that burnout is a work-related experience, not a medical condition. That matters. It means burnout isn't a flaw in you. It is what happens when the demands keep coming and the recovery time doesn't.

What does burnout look like in men?

Many men I talk with don't say they are burned out. They say they're fine, just tired. The signs often show up sideways:

• Short temper, irritability or going quiet at home
• Trouble sleeping, or sleeping and never feeling rested
• Leaning more on alcohol, screens or caffeine to get through
• Headaches, tight shoulders or a stomach that's always off
• Going through the motions at work and counting the hours
• Pulling away from friends, hobbies and the outdoors

How can sessions help with burnout?

I am a registered hypnotherapist based in Bellingham, Washington, and I work one-on-one with men. I can't change your workload or your boss. What we can work on is how you carry the load, where your limits are, and what you need to start getting back.

We often start with the basics: sleep, movement, food and some time each day that belongs to you. The National Institute of Mental Health lists these, along with relaxation and staying connected with people, as everyday ways to care for your mental health. Many men know this already. The hard part is doing it when you're spent, and that's where we focus.

Hypnotherapy and guided relaxation give your nervous system a break and a way to practice switching off. I can also teach you a short self-hypnosis or breathing routine to use between meetings. For more on that, see hypnosis for stress. If burnout is showing up as a short fuse, anger and frustration covers that side.

What does working together look like?

1. 1Introductory callA short call to talk about what's going on and whether my approach fits. You can ask anything.
2. 2Take stockIn the first session we map where your energy goes, what drains you most and what still gives something back.
3. 3Rest and reset toolsWe practice guided relaxation or hypnotherapy, and pick one or two small changes to try that week.
4. 4Limits and pressureOver later sessions we look at the harder parts: saying no, expectations you've taken on, and what you want work to mean.

When should you see a doctor instead?

Burnout can look a lot like other things, including depression or a physical health problem. The National Institute of Mental Health suggests getting professional help if severe or distressing symptoms, like trouble sleeping, changes in appetite, trouble getting out of bed, or irritability, have lasted two weeks or more. Start with your doctor, who can check your physical health and refer you to a licensed mental health professional. You can work with me alongside that care.

Ian Whitelaw Counseling for Men is not an emergency service. If you are in crisis or thinking about suicide, call or text 988, or call 911 if you are in immediate danger.